Remus And Sirius Discover The Cinema
by Juliane
Summary: Humorous PWP about exactly what Remus and Sirius would do if they went on a date. You can guess the rest from the title. Chock full of slashy goodness!


  
**Title:** Remus and Sirius Discover The Cinema  
**Author:** Juliane  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Pairings:** Remus/Sirius  
**Disclaimer:** Compare and contrast: JKR is a rich creative genius, I am merely a humble student. One of my few pleasures is playing with the puppies. Don't sue me, I'm poor.  
**Author's Notes:**Inspired by my truly awesome shipmates on board the **H.M.S. WolfStar**! You guys totally rock my socks...here's your fic. ::blows kisses to all::  


*~*~*~*~*

  
Their flat, Sirius decided abruptly, was about as interesting as a Care of Magical Creatures class spent learning about flobberworms. There was nothing to do. There was nothing good to eat. There was no one to come over and visit, as Peter was at work and Lily and James were just returning from their honeymoon. And, when there was nothing to do, eat, or see, Sirius's mind tended to wander over territory charted and uncharted alike. He draped his tall figure across the sofa, which had been a bargain at a secondhand Muggle store in the city, propped his booted feet up on the arm of said bargain furniture while crossing his arms behind his head, and began to think.  
First he thought of food, but then he was usually hungry, his teenage appetite never having diminished with maturity - maturity never having flourished, on the other hand - so food was not a very interesting topic. Then he thought of his precious bike, the Black Bitch, as the Marauders had dubbed her upon their first introduction to the masterful concoction of metal and vibrant thrill. From the Black Bitch, his train of thought jumped the track to how he really should own a nice leather jacket to complete his biker image; a leather jacket turned into leather trousers; and, predictably, the leather trousers refused to be worn by his arse, but insisted on clinging to Remus's tight hips and smooth thighs.   
Upon having this thought, any previous musings on nourishment or transportation left his mind completely, and there was only room for the deliciously pleasing image of Remus prancing about in leather trousers. However, before the fantasy could move onto further topics, such as Remus prancing about without the leather trousers, the actual Remus Lupin unlocked the front door and let himself into their flat. Although he was wearing a normal grey robe, quite dull when compared to the idea of leather trousers, Sirius was still just as excited to see him. Even though a fantasy Remus in leather trousers was nice, a real Remus was even better, despite the drab clothing.   
Sirius sat up but failed to summon the energy to get off the sofa, as he knew Remus would pass through the room in a moment and inevitably stop to kiss him 'hello.' Unfortunately, today his guess was wrong; Remus did enter the room, but stopped before he even began to approach the couch and leaned against the wall, sighing and running nimble hands through his tawny brown hair.   
"'S wrong, love?" Sirius asked from his seat.   
"The entire Ministry of Magic, they're wrong," Remus replied, his voice muffled by his hands. "Dumbledore sent me for an audience with them today," he elaborated after a moment's pause, "and they refused to even see me. Apparently everyone knows that Dumbledore elevated a werewolf to the position of Auror."   
Sirius's entire good mood faded at this evidence of his mate's mistreatment. "Aw, Moony, I'm sorry-"  
"I didn't get anything done today. Then, to top it all off, I got another owl from the Registry. More papers, I assume." The Werewolf Registry had been snowing papers upon them since Remus's graduation from Hogwarts, demanding that he sign his life away before he was allowed to take a job or sign for an apartment or practically even breathe outside of the school's or his parents' care.   
After remaining quiet for a moment, which was quite an accomplishment for him, Sirius slowly asked, "What are you going to do?"   
Remus looked up, slightly-too-long bangs just brushing his eyelashes. "Well...first I'm going to take a shower." Noting the dry humor creeping into his lover's voice, Sirius's heart lightened slightly. Remus could still make a joke about it - things were going to be alright.   
As Remus flashed a brief smile to the dark-haired man, and turned to retreat into their bathroom, Sirius couldn't resist offering, "Want me to join you, love?"   
"Sirius!" The humor was gone from Remus's voice and features, replaced by a sharply exasperated tone and a knitted brow. "I have a bloody terrible day, and you go and say something like that?"   
It had been inconsiderate of him, he knew; he was always speaking before he thought. True to form, he babbled on quickly now. "I'm sorry, Moony, it just seemed like a funny thing to say, didn't mean to be an arse-"  
"I mean, what's the idea of having to ask whether I want you to join me or not? Honestly, if you really knew me, you would have known that your offer is perhaps the only thing that could make this day any better."   
Sirius glanced up from the mysterious stain on the floor (it had come with the flat) to his lover's eyes. Remus's face was now piercingly witty instead of angry, his voice teasing and sweet. "Really?" Sirius asked, suddenly and brightly hopeful, like a dog that sees its master with the leash and knows that an especially satisfying walk is in order.   
"Of course," Remus replied, laughing now. "That, and a particularly strong drink."   
Lethargy gone, Sirius leapt to his feet. "Hop in the shower, you'll have both in just a moment."   


*~*~*~*~*

  
After a long shower and a strong drink each, both of which were immensely enjoyable, Sirius realized they were faced with the prospect of a Friday evening devoid of plans. They could, of course, stay in and shag the hours away, which was not a bad idea at all... In fact, the more Sirius thought about it, the better it sounded.   
Of course, his hopes were dashed when Remus, wearing only a towel wrapped around his narrow hips, fixed him with an imploring amber gaze and suggested, "Let's go out somewhere tonight."   
"Out?" Sirius repeated vaguely, torn away from the idea of the all-night shag-fest he'd been envisioning. "Um...out where?"   
"Oh, I dunno. Just - out. To do something, well, fun."   
The shag-fest was slipping farther and farther out of reach. "Are you sure? You, er, really want to?"   
"I've had a bloody awful day, so yeah, I rather would like to go somewhere fun." Remus glanced over at him in all of his radiant, post-shower glory. Strands of his short, tawny blond hair were plastered to his forehead, and his skin had a flushed pink glow in the heat and humidity of the tiny bathroom. Sirius was standing close enough to duck his head and place a kiss on Remus's narrow nose, but instead chose to look at the amber eyes framed by still-wet lashes. Gods, but Remus was a beautiful creature. "Please, Siri?"   
Oh, gods, he used that nickname - the one that, though disgustingly cute, never failed to send a tingle through Sirius's body. Farewell to the shag-fest, he decided with only minimal sorrow. If Remus wanted to go out, who was he to deny pleasure to a heavenly creation? "Er...yeah, that'd be great. Where d'you want to go?"   
"Oh." Remus blinked. "I hadn't thought of that. Do you have any ideas?"   
That would take some thought, and Sirius was not capable of thinking clearly with a nearly-undressed Remus in such close proximity. In response, he opened the bathroom door and went to his dresser, picking up a pair of boxers and sliding them up over his hips. In the process of searching for trousers, which reminded him vaguely of the evening's previous leather trousers idea, he straightened up and snapped his fingers. "I've got it, Remus."   
Remus poked his head out the bathroom door midway through toweling dry his short hair. "What is it, love?"   
"I'm going to take you on a Muggle date."   
"Oh." Again Remus blinked, as he always did when registering some new comment or fact. "And Muggle dates differ from wizarding dates how...?"  
Leave it to Remus to want an academic explanation. "They're - well, I dunno. They're Muggle. You do Muggle things... It's what Muggles do." Dammit, he was babbling again. But coming from a Muggle mother and a wizard father, how was he supposed to explain a Muggle date to someone from an all-wizarding family? It was like explaining the mechanics of the Black Bitch to Remus - sure, he was brilliant, but there were some things Remus just didn't get.   
"Yes, I gathered that much," Remus replied dryly, offering a coy smile at his lover's inability to describe his plans for the evening.   
"Smart-arse," Sirius grumbled, resuming the search for trousers.   
Remus laughed and ducked back into the bathroom, then joined Sirius in their bedroom when he was satisfied that his hair was no longer damp. As he began to dress, it occurred to him that he wasn't sure what he should wear - Muggle clothes, most likely. But when he turned to ask Sirius about the dress code, he found that his lover was still wearing a scowl as he slid his legs into his trousers.   
"Oh, Siri, love, don't be upset. I was only teasing."   
Sirius's only response to Remus's apology was to huff, as he would if he were Padfoot.   
"I mean it! You were just...well, you were funny..."  
Another huff. Remus's current line of conversation was going nowhere rather quickly. Time for another approach.  
"Listen, I really was just teasing. I'd love to go on that Muggle date with you. It does sound like fun."   
Sirius finally began to perk up slightly. "You will?"   
"Of course. Fun to try new things, isn't it?"   
"You'll enjoy this, Moony." Then Sirius glanced over at him, finding Remus still wrapped in his towel. "But, er, you'd better put on some clothes."   


*~*~*~*~*

  
Stopping for a quick bite on the way out proved to be a good idea twice over; firstly, because Remus was quite hungry, and secondly, because although Sirius had a general idea of what people did on Muggle dates, he wasn't entirely sure what he and Remus were going to do that night. On a whim Sirius bought a newspaper, wondering if there might be something interesting in there that he and Remus could partake of for the evening.   
Luckily, he hit upon it rather quickly. "Oy, Remus, we could go to the cinema."   
"The cinema?" Remus repeated, confused, then reached for his glass.   
"Yeah. Haven't you heard me talk about it before?"   
"Oh, right...come to think of it, you might have mentioned it a few times in school..."  
"Mentioned it?!" Sirius gasped. "Remus, I adored it! I know for a fact that I went on and on about it to you and James and Pete at least eight separate times-"  
"Right! Something about animated Muggle photographs!" Remus responded incorrectly. "Sorry, I didn't remember."   
"After all I talked about it?" the black-haired man queried, fixing his lover with a mock-wounded look.   
"Well...to tell the truth, Sirius, we all thought you were making it up. Trying to fool us again, you know?" Remus admitted with a smile. "We thought there was no way that Muggles could take moving photographs."   
"Well, it's not a photograph, per se, it's more like a long stream of continuous motion in the format of a really large photogra- Wait, did you just say that none of you ever believed me?"   
Remus smiled at him again, almost apologetically. "You must admit that the idea is a little farfetched."   
"Then that settles it. We're definitely going tonight."   
After a brief tussle over who exactly was going to pay for dinner (Sirius insisted on paying after informing Remus that men always paid for things on a Muggle date, whereupon Remus pointed out the insensibility of Sirius paying, as in their situation both of them were men; the discussion ended with Sirius claiming he was more manly because he owned a flying motorcycle, where Remus was content to Apparate), they did go to the cinema. Upon buying tickets for a show neither of them had ever heard of before, they waited in the lobby for the film to begin.   
"Now, tell me again what this is?" Remus prompted, still finding himself to be thoroughly confused by the concept of the Muggle cinema.   
Sirius jumped to the occasion, eager to show off the knowledge and practical experience that none of his friends possessed. "Well, you see, Moony, we're going to go into this theatre, and we'll watch a film. It's like a moving picture, only it's Muggle, and you can hear them-"  
"They talk?!" Remus exclaimed excitedly, drawing stares from a couple standing near them.   
"Er, he likes the silent films," Sirius explained hastily, then took Remus's arm and stepped away from the curious gazes of the Muggles. "Right," he went on, making sure he lowered his voice, "they talk. And you watch and listen, and it tells a story. There's music, too, and sometimes there're explosions-"  
"Explosions?" Now the tawny-haired appeared rather concerned.   
"No, no, in the film, not in the cinema," Sirius elaborated.   
"Oh, well, that's a relief."   
Sirius sighed, though he was only pretending to be exasperated; Remus, in turn, rolled his eyes, playing to the same effect. Truthfully, both men were enjoying themselves immensely: Sirius because he knew Remus loved to learn or experience new things, Remus because he knew Sirius loved to show off his knowledge (or lack thereof) of anything and everything.   
Sirius glanced at his watch, and saw several couples file into the theatre. "Look, Remus, it's time for the film to start!" Taking his lover by the hand, he walked Remus to the appropriate door, then chivalrously held it open for him, drawing alternately odd or disapproving glances from the Muggles nearby. Sirius, catching this, grinned mischievously at them, and made a show of holding the door open as they passed through as well. Remus laughed as Sirius let the door shut after two couples had passed through, taking the black-haired man's hand again as they made their way through the dimly lit theatre.   
"Where do we sit?" Remus asked softly, leaning in close to Sirius's ear. As the black-haired man felt the breath tickling his skin, he shivered deliciously.   
"Er...middle, I'd say. The front's for families with small children, the back's for people who've no intention of watching the film."   
Remus raised his eyebrows questioningly.   
"No, love," Sirius replied, with a hint of a teasing quality in his voice, "as good as that sounds, you simply have to have the experience of watching a film."   
The smaller man gave him a playful shove. "You're hopeless."   
"You know you love it." Sirius squeezed his hand. "C'mon, sit down."   
They found seats next to a group of Muggle girls who'd obviously come together - the four of them were chatting excitedly about their school, clothing, and several boys who all seemed to be named Brian. Sirius caught Remus's eye to share a laugh and found that the tawny-haired man was, predictably, studying his surroundings with an eager eye.   
"So - what do we do now?" Remus asked quickly. "I mean, this - film. Does it just appear?"   
"Well, yeah, in a minute - or now," Sirius amended, seeing the lights in the theatre darken as he spoke.   
The movie, as it turned out, was technically a member of the 'romantic comedy' category, but seemed to be more a festival of fairy tale clichés - boy meets girl, girl is in love with someone else, girl miraculously realizes the error of her ways and falls in love with first boy, happy ending. As Sirius watched the ridiculous feminine antics with growing disbelief, he was reminded why he loved Remus so much: the man was simple, knew what he wanted and what he felt, and was undoubtedly infinitely easier to get along with than a woman. In fact, Remus was behaving in that absolutely and unintentionally adorable way he possessed - holding Sirius's hand, leaning against him with near-silent sighs of contentment, watching the screen with his wide amber eyes. Yes, Remus was very nearly perfect.   
Except, of course, for this particular moment.   
Watching the romantic turn of events in the film, he seemed to grow more and more fed up with the frivolities of the heroine, until he finally addressed the screen with his exclamation, "What on earth did you do that for?!"   
Sirius saw him blush as half of the theatre shushed him angrily; a woman behind them was particularly vehement about her "shh." He leaned over to Remus's ear and whispered helpfully, "They don't talk back, love."   
"They don't?" Remus asked.   
"No."   
"But-" This seemed to make no sense to Remus. "But look, they're moving, and we can hear them, so shouldn't they hear us?" Another thought struck him suddenly. "Or are all the actors deaf?"   
"No, love, it's a **film**," Sirius responded, unable to come up with a clearer definition. "They do the same thing every time. They're not real and they can't talk with us or anything."   
"Well, what good is that, then?"   
Sirius forgot he was in the theatre as he exclaimed, "Dammit, Remus, it's just for entertainment!" As he realized how loud his statement had been, the rest of the theatre took part in shushing him as intensely as they had done to Remus a moment before.   
"Honestly, children these days!" the woman behind them huffed, settling back into her seat.   
As Sirius frowned, Remus leaned over and suddenly kissed him on the cheek. "Okay, love, I think I understand now. Let's just finish the film, Siri."   
Oh, that nickname again. Sirius felt himself unwillingly melt into the seat, and had serious trouble focusing on the film for the next five minutes or so. Finally, though, he was able to tear his eyes away from Remus's fascinated (and fascinating) face. The film ended shortly after that, completing itself with a thoroughly sentimental 'happy ending.' As the lights came on and the people began to file out of the theatre, Sirius took Remus's hand again and began to walk with him towards the exits.   
"What did you think?" Sirius asked, slightly apprehensive now. The date had not gone at all the way he'd imagined it would.   
"What, the film? Muggle films are...interesting. And, well, the story wasn't much...the actors were alright. I mean, they weren't bad, and I certainly couldn't do what they do, but I felt like the story left something to be desired." As Remus spoke, slowly and thoughtfully, they made their way outside to the sidewalk in front of the cinema.   
"Yeah, well, I know it's different, but it's pretty good for Muggles, and-" Sirius began quickly in defense of his choice, but Remus cut him off quickly.   
"No, I mean - I had a wonderful time tonight. And when I watched the film, and what **they** seemed to think love was, I realized that what they portrayed in that...film, was nothing in comparison to what I feel for you." Remus glanced up at him, and the sidewalk lamps caught his amber eyes and made them seem to glow in the dark evening. "You were willing to show me something new, teach me something that you knew would be difficult to explain, and you were quite patient when I didn't understand. That's why I love you."   
Sirius stopped their aimless stroll where they stood, beneath a lamppost, and cupped Remus's face between his hands. "You always know just what to say, love."   
"I love you, Siri."   
"I love you too, Remus."   
They kissed briefly, modestly, as they were in the middle of a Muggle sidewalk; but the feelings coursed through them nonetheless, and when they pulled away to look into each other's eyes they understood the expressions there perfectly.   
"Of course, we could go home now," Remus playfully suggested, growing momentarily bolder, "and shag all night."   
Sirius laughed in disbelief. "Would you believe me if I said I had the same thought earlier?"   
"Well, you've been having marvelous ideas all night then, haven't you?"   
"Oh, no. This is definitely the best idea yet," Sirius countered, winking at his lover. Remus smiled at him, and suddenly the entire evening was perfect.   
As they Apparated back to their flat, Sirius thought to himself that the night had been (and would soon grow more so) quite interesting indeed. 


End file.
